I piss on your grave

Come on now Masta you were really lame this time, I never knew you liked nursery rhymes, but since you do, here's one for you, roses are red violets are blue, I fucked your mother and then she had you, ha ha let's go how 'bout another one, these nursery rhymes were kinda fun, roses are red violets are blue, your father fucked the milkman, bo-ho-fucking-ho, but seriously folks let's crank it up a notch, let's head butt Masta in his face and kick him in the crotch, but wait the crotch is the wrong place to kick, li'l Masta ain't got a dick, maybe a mini penis is hiding in there, but it's more like a giant clit I swear, Masta J, never okay, Mr "I'm-straight-outta-south-harbor" ya'll better make way, snap back to reality, you're a monstrosity, you're abnormality, a lousy vasectomy, yeah that's right there's no need to fight, you're a lot of bark but simply no bite, I'm Urquell you're Miller Lite, you're the toilet when I take a shite, I give you nightmares every night, you sneak into you closet and lock it shut tight, then you come out of the closet every day, even homosexuals are pissed that you're gay, you give them a very bad reputation, you're the number one reason for sterilization, a minute in your company, and people question humanity, how come you allowed to live on, in the olden timey days you'd been stoned and long gone, so I think it's time to bury the hatchett, right in your skull didn't see that one coming I bet, let me end this rhyme on a positive note, I saw you fucking yesterday - with a billy goat! Hahahahaha sucker!

Slim..pickens! (a thank you very a much)

I said a hip hop a hippin' and a hoppin' and a down start boppin' to the beat! Masta junkies in da house! Masta junkies in the house so put your hands in the air and wave em like you just don't care that's right fool don't be tripping 'bout my old school I'm getting the crowd goin' getting the juices flowing 'cause it's time to end this shit I haven't heard a rhyme that's worth a dime from your mouth cause Masta only saw some spit Slim Tricky's back in town Slim Tricky's back in town everyone knows he is a clown yo where's the circus at don't lie to the kids just becuase you're a fat twat with a funny hat that smells like a rat that just shat cause i'm not here to chit chat i'll take out my bat and wack it on your head splat! cause i'm a fucking hellcat the fury and you're not all that you're a hall mat to be stepped on flat splattely-splat splat haha! you're not ready for combat you're a punk a fucking brat so please just get out of here scram run beat it...stat! you're fat and boring like Hitchcock - "gooood evening" NO! good bye nice try get out of here before you die you look like a pig and smell like a pig sty I'll strangle you like in Frenzy with my neck tie (haha I already know your reply) what's that little Tricky hmm your throats dry? you look a little pale are you gonna cry? want your mama and dance the polka? the rumba? BANZAI!

Lord of rhymes king of all times - SLIM TRICKY in da house

I think it’s about time to bust some rhymes, while you’re in a basement sniffing terpentine, you stick your dick in an electrical socket, I’ll pull out my gun and cock it, ka-pow ka-pow ka-blam, now it’s on motherfucker let’s go goddamn, you’re not the smartest nor the brightest, Pamela Anderson sucked your dick now you got hepatitis, but I’m not here to cock block you, cuz you’re as confused as Kid Rock dude, when asked what you’d like to do as a career, you answered ”bum” instead of ”millionaire”, you’re about as fucked up as Kevin Spacey in Seven, your crazy as a terrorist on nine eleven, you’re going down get ready to crash, you’ll be yesterdays diapers thrown in the trash, I’ma ’bout to bust ya with some old school beats, just like in Rocky five I’ll take it to the streets, got Beyonce by my side, down the boulevard I stride, I jump into my ride while this I do confide, I’ll leave you in my dust, you’re like an old car full of rust, you ain’t got nobody’s trust, I eat the pie you get the crust, now go get yourself a toothless hobo, all the fantasies you have are of you being homo, that’s why you’re so obsessed with my enormous dick, poking your ass at it hoping it will stick, all you will get in your behind is a mighty kick, laying in the gutter you’ll have wounds to lick, you call me jackass it should be Slim Knoxoutville, I’ll knock you the fuck out it’ll be a thrill, I’m excited by the thought of all your blood I’ll spill, I’ll send you to the dentist you can send me the bill, so let’s start rhyming with some slick timing I’ll be defining as the sun I’m shining you’re scared and hiding man I’m frightening I’ll be guiding you to retiring, so what do you say Masta J, you can wave your nine I’ll pull out my AK, say bye-bye I laugh you cry and while I laugh you die, we’re back at the begininng doing it again, ka-pow ka-blam goodbye my friend, but no no no stop for a minute, it ain’t over yet I’m just beginning it, so step in the ring it’s a boxing match, off with the gloves like Brad Pitt in Snatch, I’ll make your head spin I’m the hurricane, Denzel dances on your grave while you wallow in pain, I’m faster than Ali got more punch than Will Smith, I’ll knock you out to pieces bit by motherfucking bit, you’re like that funny looking guy in the movie Fargo, I’ll punch you out just like Rocky did with Drago, you’re cinderella and I am the man, you hide ’neath the skirt of your old nan, you try to brag saying you’re number one, but just like Marshall I dub you pac none, you getting tired yet cuz I’m just started, I’m arriving and you’ve departed, so I’m hanging in the hills with Leo and Jack, you’re down on the corner trying to score some crack, you know I’m really ’bout to give you a smack, straight in ya face make ya fall on ya back, maybe take my time to kick ya in your nutsack, then I’ll fuck a girl with a really nice rack, you’re the follower I’m the leader of the pack, I got all the rhyming skills that you lack, you’re on the defense I’m on the attack, when it comes to rhymes you’re a bitch ass hack, my skills they thrill people to say my shit is wack, got my rhyming diploma on a golden plaque, you’re stranger than fiction but I ain’t no stranger to fact, you’re an alien I kill you like the men in black, you’re trying to be tough but it’s all an act, shit they might even give ya an Oscar for that, my piles of dollar bills are highly stacked, I might throw you a dollar just to cut ya some slack, your loss is my aphrodisiac, so here it comes in the words of Bernie Mac, you sonomabitch!

Where's my (motherfucking) trophy Chubby Tricky?

This means war and you know what it's good for absolutely nothing as the boss I shoot and I score, Tricky ooooh you so scaryyyyy but I don't caaaary where's your nannyyyyy hey everybody! Trickys the dumbest fuck in history he's a fairy! tryin´to get me all excited bout you slammin´my sister ha! look in my eyes mister I already dissed her, now let's get serious for a minute jesus you're so crazy you chew the carpet you're not even from this planet you call me a midget I call you a maggot a faggot a piglet in drag yeah a real fag a homo schlomo a toothless no brain inbred playing the banjo, ain't gonna lie to you jack around you I get nervous I hide my anus cause who knows your madness maybe you're not dickless but it's aimed at my backside I try to run and hide cause you want to stick it in my bee-hind, I'll fuck you up anywhere anytime any place cause you're a fucking discrace of the human race, it's time to set you straight bring out the hate punch you in the prostate man what a primate! I love the smell of napalm in the mornin´so I shoot and I score again, My name is Masta Junkie and i'm number one wanna have some fun? bring it on better put on your apron cause it's gonna get messy moron, I hope you have a button that says off so I can push it and go and read Chekov or somethin' cause you're even more boring you're like a book that makes me fall asleep hear me snooring, hope you have something more than the last crap cause i'm about to take a nap so if you've got somethin' bring it asap! I've got better things to do than battling your ass cause you're a fucking jackass and all you do is harass me and all you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you, my bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips off course it is like Marshall says you're not worth the piss. So go play with your little dick or a broomstick or whatever you do that makes everyone sick cause I'm outta here! I have Obi-WON this motherfucker! Out!

Yo Masta - I fucked ya sistah

Hey Masta, the disasta', eating another spoon full of pasta, you're full of bologne, thinking you own me, I fart in your general direction, there's no suspension, you best put on your earmuffs now, I'm about to hit ya hard so bow, down to the king the Slim Trickster, the guy who fucked both ya sisters, yeah that's right you heard me, took 'em in the ass then had desert g, wo-oh, oh-no, he didn't just go where I think he did, did he? You fucking kidding me? I'll go there again and say it, I fucked so hard when I came I sprayed it, they licked it up from a styrofoam cup, what you gonna do about that now pup?, nothing that's what, cuz you a bitch ass twat, you're really more woman than man, butt ugly though I mean damn, what the fuck is up with you, drinking in the night sleeping in your shoe, now you put your pride away and you're gone to get a tit, you hate yourself that you have pay for it, there's one more whore who will never be the same, never ever fall in love cuz you were so lame, your dick went limp, yeah you're no pimp, when people see you it's: "who brought out the gimp?", I could rip you apart even more, but I see you're crying so there's the door.

Laugh in your face!

Oooh Slim Tricky boo-hoo, I love it i’m actually gonna murder you, for your crappy rhymes gonna make you pay I don’t deal with psychos I put ‘em away, actually you’d be better of dead cause believe me you don’t want me in your head, this is what happens when you mess with the Masta, cause I go fast’a and you’re not gonna last’a, I’m gold in these here parts and you’re the bullseye for darts in a pub where people laugh at you cause you’ve got no smarts, Masta comin at ya so get it right squirt or I’ll skull fuck you down in the dirt with my words, You pulled the wrong one and now Mastas having you for dessert.
I'm not gonna waste more time battling with a loser who's not worth more than a dime, who’s last in line, never gonna be a headline, kill ya with strychnine cause you missed the deadline you ain’t never gonna shine so sit down shut up and start ya whine.

Fucking Cry baby!

Swinging high and low - Masta Junkie is a ho'

Well well well if it ain't ol' Masta, humming & strumming like an old Stratocasta', I prefer Gibson cuz it's a real guitar, not a piece of shit for old drunken stars, speaking of drunken, Masta how low have you sunken? I saw you sleeping in a trunk 'n', smelling like an unwashed cunt man, wow the stench the horror the horror, maybe I should just call you a whore or, a drunken bastard without rhyming skills, even if you worked you couldn't afford your bills, fucked up on alcohol and viagra pills, roaming the streets like a hobo junkie, why you even attempt to fight me? hey dude bite me! I take your lame ass words turn 'em into laughter, you're not dealing with your shadow your dealing with the master, the Tricktser, bitch fixer, El Trickerino, while you're more like Steve-O, prancing around and hurting yourself, nowhere near as funny as Ferrell in Elf, speaking of Christmas you're more like the Grinch, when people see you they step back and flinch, compared to you Freddy Krueger is handsome, you're as ugly as shit and then some, you can't even pay to get sex, a whore who sees you just gets depressed, she commits suicide rather then fucking you, still you keep eating Viagra 'til your dick is blue, hoping that one day some miracle will happen, but no girl will ever put her cunt near your lap man, even when you download some porn, the actors start laughing adding some scorn, you've never been kissed, won't put the "missed" in dismissed, never ever feel bliss, just some shit and some piss, your hand won't cooperate when you jerk your own cock, you're the sorriest piece of shit on the entire block, the laughing stock, kicked down by Birkenstocks, your parents changed the lock, the time stops when you look at a clock, just an asshole to scorn and to mock, everybody threw the first rock, time's running out tick tick tock, so here's the question: "What up, doc?", your entire mouth's full of socks, not a word comes out in your defense, and if it does it doesn't make sense, the doctor's called from the loony bin, they want you back to lock you in, Hannibal Lecter missed your company, crying at night: "Where's Masta Junkie?", he's here mr Lecter he's...naw forget it, I sorta feel sorry for that piece of shit, he's brainless and useless a piece of crap, he stinks so much he stunk up my rap, gotta go get cleansed from his terrible odour, see ya at MTV next to Kurt Loder.

The MINDFUCK is on!

Tricky? ass licky? nose picky? Just plain shitty! the game is on and I’ll come out and say it strong you ain’t nothing but a hopeless dickless SOB and yes you know me I’ll bury thee like a real MC, I’ve heard you before walking talking mouthing off like you’re the shit and that’s just it you just have another meaning for it everyone else know that I floor it and you’re boring you should learn how to knit, no one want’s to hear your yadda this and yadda that I would crush you flat but I won’t cause you´re to fat maybe I’ll use a baseball bat to pound some sence in you man how can you live with yourself when no one else can I bet your friends want to beat you merciless and nothing less maybe just kill you and then have a drink or two maybe three and laugh with glee, listen I don’t really want to put you down I don’t make fun of clowns but you’re in a different league altogetha’ you’re the bed wetting ass kissing nobody fella so let’s just leave it like this I would rather kiss a bum rolled in puke and piss than continue this crap cause it’s like talking to a wall that has taken a nap the lights are NOT on and there’s NOBODY home, you’ve got an IQ of 44 do you want some more haha didn’t think so bitch yo there’s the door!

Slim Tricky vs Masta Junkie - The Battle Begins

I'm Slim Tricky you're new hero and host, welcoming all of ya'll to my first post, this new blog is a rap battle contest, it's gonna determine who the fuck of us rhymes best, "us" that's me and that sucker MC who goes by the name of Masta Junkie, I hate his guts, gonna bust his nuts, crack his skull in man he sucks, he's gonna get orally and mentally abused, gang raped like Jodie Foster in "Accused", shit man don't even get me started, when he walks into a room people wonder who farted, but that's just him that's how fucking awful he smells, he died and came back cuz satan threw him outta hell, santa committed suicide when Masta sang "Jingle Bells", that's just a few of the stories that I'll tell, but all in due time all you really need to know, is that Masta Junkie sucks he's a goddamn ho', and by the way who am i you wonder, if Masta's the rain I am the thunder, Slim Tricky, girl's lickety lick me, say: "put your dick in me", in german: "fick mich", the master rapper, lyricist and poet, "You're on top Tricks", dammit I know it, yo Masta Junkie the war is on, I'll strap you to a chair leave you gagged and bound, six feet under nowhere to be found, screaming for air beneath the ground, breath coming slower and slower still, you're one punk bitch I love to kill. Bam!